Tricky Treats and Surprising Sweets
by Magical Mistress Sarai
Summary: -Studio 69 fic- It's Halloween, and everything at Studio 69 is primed for conflict: Sasuke lost a bet with a drag queen, and Naruto doesn't have a costume; meanwhile, all the employees are all Disney villains! Who's going to keep Neji from going insane?


**Disclaimer:** I met Mr. Kishimoto in a bar. I tried to drug him in order to get him to sign away the rights to Naruto... but the man is a Ninja (who writes about ninjas apparently). I woke up in this hotel room and I have no idea how I got here, but **I **_still _**don't own Naruto.** _(the world of Studio 69 is mine however)_

Well, I'm just really productive when I set my mind to it.

I wrote this today! It's finished, Yay! Now I can move on to more N:K! (not meant to rhyme, but I can't control the poet) This is a late Halloween fic, my apologies but I had other obligation to N:K, so, anyways, I think the readers of my last Studio 69 one-shot will be happy with this, but also fairly surprised. For new readers: go read Neon Lights and Dance Club Fights, because it will help you understand this a little bit better (but it isn't necessary); however, I'll love you long time if you read and review. That goes for everyone. Love = reviews *makes mind control motions with her hands*

Anyways, this is the first of two holiday one-shots I have planned for Studio 69. The next will update in December. I hope you all enjoy it, and I'll see you with the next update to LtB! Much love!

_**~Sarai**_

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_**Tricky Treats and Surprising Sweets**_

Halloween is about fear.

Haunted houses, ghostly ghouls… people running amok in frightening costumes. There are more opportunities for criminals in this one night than the entire year combined. People dress their children up and parade them around… all the while warning about dangerous candy, strangers, sticking together, which houses not go to… Halloween is about being afraid.

Unless you are at Studio 69; then, Halloween is all about… the _glitter_.

It's the one night of the year where anyone can be a drag queen, where you can come as anything you want to be, even straight, and you can trust that to be a killer costume. Yes, Halloween is the biggest, brashest, most boastful night of the year… not even New Years can compare.

Every Halloween at Studio 69 has a theme, and every employee adheres their costume to that theme, because that is tradition. One year they were dragons and another year they were mobsters… but no matter the theme, the patrons can always count on two things: the employees of Studio 69 will have professionally made costumes… and they will not be participating in the Halloween costume contest, which is a great relief to any hopeful patron.

This year is no different, which is immediately apparent as Naruto Uzumaki enters the club. He's a regular, has been for three years, and he doesn't miss an event. While there are several factors included in this… only one of them matters tonight: Sasuke Uchiha… owner, proprietor, and king of Studio 69… oh, and his boyfriend.

The blond grinned at this thought as he made his way through the throngs of people, costumed and not, trying to reach the main bar where his friend Kiba is a hurricane of bar-tending madness. Literally hundreds of people go to the main bar in one night, and on average one person orders at least three drinks… Kiba handles them all. He's backed up by two dishwashers and another employee at the alcohol well, but even so… the success and the money is attributed to Kiba. People wait in line for half an hour just to get one of his drinks.

The crowd around the bar was especially thick tonight, and, as Naruto pushed his way to the front, he could see why.

Kiba was dressed up in perfect accordance with this year's costume theme: Disney villains with-a-twist!

The theme was simple: take a Disney Villain and change them in some way.

This normally meant making them into a different gender, and for most of the employees it was an excuse to dress in drag… such as a passing waiter dressed like a female Captain Hook, but Kiba had truly outdone himself. He was quite obviously Hades, god of the underworld from Hercules, but whereas the Hades from the movie had been voiced by James Woods, and frankly unattractive by Naruto's standards, Kiba was smoking.

His normally shaggy, brown hair was gelled, colored, and spiked to look like flames; Naruto could easily spot four different shades of blue in his hair. Kiba had also painted his skin a light shade of blue to make the costume complete, which was probably why so many people were just milling around the bar. Kiba had created a dark blue and black toga which tied at the waist and came over only one shoulder—barely. His entire torso was visible to the crowded bar patrons, and with every move, shake, and mix of a drink… each and every rippling muscle of that fine, toned chest was clearly displayed.

"_I'm spoken for, I'm spoken for…_" Naruto repeated inside his head, sliding up to the bar. He still could enjoy looking, and that thought caused him to grin mischievously.

"Hey, foxy!" Kiba called out, practically running over, "Where's your costume?"

"I'm wearing part of it," Naruto pointed to his waist, he had on a glittering, blue and turquoise kilt of silk-like fabric.  
"Nice," Kiba chuckled, "Where's the rest of it?"  
"Waiting until I find the devil, you know where he is?"

Kiba shook his head, barely containing his laughter about something "Haven't seen him all night. He's been getting into his costume."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What could he possibly be wearing that would take this long?"

"Let's just say that he lost a bet with a drag queen," Kiba chuckled, "And we'll leave it at that. I was told not to tell anyone, and I like my job! So... what can I get you?"

Naruto chuckled at his friend's merriment, shouting back, "Fair enough! Hit me with one of tonight's specials."  
Kiba was working in a flash, handing Naruto an orange drink, "It's my personal take on the fuzzy navel… I call it a fuzzy pumpkin!"  
"You do realize it sounds even more disgusting than the original?" Naruto eyed the drink warily.

"Just drink it!"

Throwing caution to the wind, the blond put the glass to his lips and took a sip. The name of the drink was the only think Naruto could find fault. This drink tasted sweet… with just a touch of bitter salt, like peaches and cream and sunlight… if it could be bottled. In seconds he had drained the entire glass, "Ah! That was amazing!"

"Of course it is," Kiba said indignantly, "Why do you think people aren't leaving the bar?" He flashed Naruto a cocky grin before taking the empty glass.

"Gotcha," Naruto laughed, "Don't you need to get back to the other customers?"

The bartender frowned, looking back at the crowd, "My job says I _have _to… but if one more old guy throws a cheap pick-up line at me… I'm spiking his drink."  
"They'll probably enjoy it!"  
"Dirty old perverts," Kiba muttered.

"Hey, why don't you make me another?" Naruto offered, "I'll make this one last, and then you can get back to your admirers."

"Fair enough!"

Kiba threw the drink together and slid it onto the bar; he told Naruto not to leave and then dove back into the chaos of mixing drinks for the entire bar.

Fresh drink in hand, Naruto spun on his bar stool to look out over the crowded club. The dance floor was packed, as always, but not as bad as most nights. He imagined it was due to the costumes… those things would get hot rather quick. Most of the patrons were gathered at one of the many bars or lounging around, chatting in groups about one thing or the other, but everyone was waiting for the main event: the Halloween drag show.

Where other events at Studio 69 drew crowds for the dance floor, Halloween drew crowds for one thing and one thing only: theater.

The Halloween Drag Competition showcased the best female impersonators in the entire region of Konoha, in fact some even flew in for other regions to compete. The competition preliminaries covered every Saturday and Sunday leading up to Halloween. The contestants were whittled down to a final five, and then they would perform for the biggest show of the year, competing for a prize of fifty thousand dollars and the title, which they would come back to defend the next year. It was literally the biggest night for Studio 69 in the entire year.

This year's returning champion was Haku Momochi, and most of the gathered crowd seemed to think he—she would take the crown again. Naruto had to constantly remind himself to refer to drag queens in the feminine form, which was respectful. The whole thing confused him, but thankfully Sasuke and some of the others at Studio 69 had explained the finer points of the competition to him. Last year he had made a complete fool of himself by walking across the dance floor during a performance.

He had wondered why no one was standing on the dance floor while one of the queens performed, and, having the need to pee very badly, he took the shortest line to the restrooms—which, as it turned out, had been a big taboo. Luckily Sasuke had been able to smooth the matter over, and the competition had continued. The drag queen had been allowed to restart her number, and still hadn't won—Naruto couldn't be blamed for that.

"Oh, that guilty grin can only mean one thing," a voice said from his right, "You're remembering how stupid you were last year."

Naruto turned to see a fierce looking drag queen dressed as Cruella DeVille. This could only be one person in the entire club. "Neji," the blond smiled happily, "I thought you'd be DJ'ing tonight!"

"That's only on Friday," the brunette dismissively waved, "I'm performing tonight."

"I know, I know," Naruto laughed, "I'm just giving you a hard time."

Neji gave him a look of severe disapproval, which Naruto was used to, and then he flagged Kiba down to order a drink.

Naruto took that time to get a good look at Neji's costume. His twist was a Cruella who loved leather, not fur. He was in a skin-tight, black leather mini-skirt, four inch stilettos, and an ankle-length, white, alligator skin coat. He looked just like the Cruella from the cartoon—but with leather. The outfit was stunning, and it made her character look even more villainous. Neji's naturally long, brown locks had been dyed silver on one side, completing the look… and Naruto hoped it was only a temporary dye job, otherwise they Hyūga would be irritable for months.

"_Neji's smart, so it probably __was __ a temporary job_," Naruto reassured himself.

"Kiba, dahling!" Neji called out in a fairly good Cruelle impersonation, "I'm practically parched."

"How you doing, hagitha?" Kiba grinned walking up to Naruto and Neji.  
"Whore!" Neji spat back.  
"Only for you, baby," Kiba grinned, looking quite devious in his ensemble.  
"Please, I wouldn't have the time to house train you."

"Who says I need training?" Kiba waggled his eyebrows.

"That would be news to everyone, straight boy," Neji smirked.

Kiba shrugged, sliding Neji a drink "You never know… so how's the boss doing?" Neji took the drink without even asking about it, which Naruto noticed.

"He's ready, of course you know best part of our bet is that he has to _Em cee_ the competition in costume," Neji offered matter-of-factly.

"Wait," Naruto was trying to contain his laughter, "Sasuke lost a bet to you!" The blond couldn't believe it.  
"What's so funny?" Neji asked coldly.

"Oh, nothing bad," Naruto immediately placated, "It's just… we were talking last night, arguing who knew more about the club, and I told him that if you ever left he'd be out of business."

"Too true," Kiba agreed, "Nej, here takes care of the books…"

"And I bring in the most customers," the Hyūga said proudly.

"So what was the bet?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"I told him that the queens these days had no class," Neji said sadly, "And that if I were to come out of retirement… I could make it to the finals without a problem."  
"You were first in your preliminaries," Naruto nodded.  
"Sasuke bet me that I wouldn't even make it into the top three," Neji feigned being emotionally hurt, "He said I've lost my touch."  
"No chance of that," Kiba chuckled, "Once a queen, always a queen…"

"And a drama queen at that," a snide voice cut in.

Three head turned to look a none other than Haku Momochi, who was dressed as a period Geisha. The boy, if he actually was a boy, looked completely feminine. There were no physical descriptors which identified the drag queen as being a male… while Neji pulled off looking like a woman, he still had that air of masculinity about him; Haku, on the other hand, looked perfect. It was no wonder he had won last year's competition, and it was obvious why people though he—she would win again. Naruto hung his head sadly; he'd never get those pronouns right.

"Neji Hyūga," Haku said brightly, "I hear you're my competition to beat…" He gave Neji and quick up-down glance, "I don't see much competition. Someone as _old _as you? Cruella was a good choice."

"Why don't you have your man-slave change your diaper brat?" Neji said dismissively, looking completely unaffected, "Your stench is starting to offend, and I see him standing over there with nothing to do."

Haku smiled, but, rather than being his superior self, the smile looked forced, "I'll see you backstage, Hyuga." With a flurry of his kimono, Haku called out for his assistant, Zabuza, and they both disappeared toward the stage door.

"Nicely handled!" Kiba laughed, "That kid looked pissed!"

"Sawed off little shrimp!" Neji snarled, slamming his drink down, "How dare he call me old? I'm not even thirty-five!"

"Heh, that's almost sixty in gay years," Naruto chuckled, pleased that he was still under thirty. Sasuke of course was only a year younger than Neji, but Sasuke looked young for his age… which worked well, because Naruto didn't normally go for older guys.

"Age brings experience," Kiba said. Somehow he managed to sound supportive of Neji and scolding towards Naruto, all with the same sentence.

"You have point," Naruto said sheepishly.

"Stop cowering like a struck puppy," Neji snapped, "And turn to the stage. The boss is about to come out… _again_." Neji looked smug, content with his wit.

Naruto looked toward the stage, which had been erected at the far side of the dance floor, just as the DJ began flashing the floor lights. That was the signal for everyone to clear the floor and find their seats—the show was about to begin.

All the lights in the club shut off, plunging the place into complete darkness. There were several shouts of "hand check" and "hey, who's touching my butt", amid childish giggling and obvious making-out. Naruto smiled as he enjoyed the vibe; Studio 69 made everyone feel and act much younger than they were.

The darkness lasted for only a few seconds before a bright spotlight lit up the stage, revealing the Master of Ceremonies standing at a microphone. The entire club went silent.

The Em cee was gorgeous, the most beautiful drag queen Naruto had ever seen… and it took his brain several moments to put two-and-two together: Sasuke was the Master of Ceremonies because of his bet with Neji; therefore: Sasuke was the drag queen. Naruto's mouth fell open.

Sasuke's costume was brilliant. He was obviously Ursula the Sea Witch from _The Little Mermaid_, but the twist was that she was skinny... and young. Sasuke looked no older than twenty-five, and his normally pale skin had been painted a light, lavender color. He was in a tight, floor-length black gown which pooled out into eight, very elegant tentacles… all of which were some how moving on their own, and his normally black-blue, raven hair had been done up with streaks of glittering silver all throughout, and placed in a style like Ursula's which was amazingly something _other_ than a duck's ass,

"_Probably for the first time in its life_," Naruto smirked, laughing inwardly.

"The dress cost a fortune," Neji sounded bitter, "But he wouldn't let me put him in something simple… no, he had to go for the gold, like always. Each of those tentacles is remotely controlled by a computer in the DJ booth!"

"He looked incredible," Kiba breathed.

"I know," Neji said irritablely, "That make-up alone took five hours, and don't get me started on his damn hair!"

Naruto snickered at their banter, but, before he could interject anything, Sasuke started the competition.

"Ladies and Lesbians…" Sasuke smiled arrogantly, enjoying the bits of laughter that came from the crowd.

"That's my cue to leave," Neji whispered, vanishing into the crowd to go prepare for his part of the competition.

"It is my great honor to welcome you all to the Tenth Annual Halloween Drag Show," Sasuke waited for the cheering and applause to die down.

Naruto could see how uncomfortable Sasuke was. He looked happy, or smiling at least, but those eyes looked ready to kill anyone who made a comment about his attire. Sasuke was a man, and he let people know it; Naruto couldn't wait to tease him about the dress… which apparently Sasuke had picked out himself. So much ammunition for later.

"As you all know, I'm not one for heavy handed speeches. Every performer tonight has more than earned their place, and it will be up to you and the judges to decide the winner…" Sasuke smirked, "And remember… it's my money you're giving away, so choose wisely!" He left the stage and the music for the first performer began.

For Naruto, the next few hours passed by in a blur of sequins, bright lights, gaudy costumes, and so many overplayed songs that you would want to gouge your eyes out and cut ears off… were it not so much damned fun! He'd never enjoyed something so much in his life, except for kissing Sasuke… and molesting Sasuke… and doing pretty much anything to Sasuke. He'd never enjoyed anything like this, because it was almost close to Sasuke…

"_Almost, but nowhere near_," he told himself, looking forward to when they left the club.

"And we have one more number for the night," Sasuke announced, coming back onto the stage. Naruto did a double-take. Every time Sasuke walked out on stage, the sheer beauty of the man floored him.

"For your view pleasure… I give you Miss Naomi Hyūga, in her final performance of the night!" Sasuke exited on the other side of the stage from where he'd entered, and Neji then took the stage, dressed like a 1960's cocktail lounge singer.

The music which started was a slow sound of jazz saxophone and brass instruments, and Neji jumped into a song of wanting, longing, and wasting away… about a woman waiting for a man who was never around. It was so passionate and haunting, Naruto wanted to tear up. It was the only song that night he had never heard, some unknown show tune probably… Naruto didn't keep up with Broadway musicals.

Apparently he wasn't the only person moved by the performance, because as soon as the number was finished, the club burst into the loudest applause of the night. Neji bowed, thanking everyone and then exited. Soon all five of the performers pranced back onto the stage, waiting the voting.

Sasuke walked over to the judges and took and envelop from them, "Well… it looks like the crowd and the judges are of different minds… so we have a tie. This is so _To Wong Fu_, oh this night can't get any gayer!" When only a handful of the people in the crowd laughed, Sasuke shot them a glare. "I swear… you young gays are so undereducated," he muttered under his breath, though of course the entire club heard and laughed, "Alright! Your queens of the evening are… Miss Haruka Momochi and Miss Naomi Hyūga!"

There was a great deal of cheering and shouting and applauding; Sasuke had a hard time getting the crowd under control, especially when the crown was brought out and placed upon Neji's head. This was because Haku already had the crown from last year, which was then placed upon his head for the second year in a row. The two champions walked up elbow-to-elbow, neither willing let the other gain the advantage, and waved to the public.

Unfortunately, they were too busy basking in their glory and fighting their rivalry, and they didn't see the edge of the stage. In the most glorified and graceful fall ever, Neji and Haku fell face first from the stage to the floor… and that signified a hilarious end to a remarkable competition. They both hopped to their feet faster than anyone Naruto had ever seen, and, after a elegant show of pulling themselves together, they both exploded into laughter with the rest of the crowd.

It took Sasuke several minutes to get the end affairs in order, but, as soon as he was free, Naruto grabbed the bag full of accessories for his costume and ran over to the club owner.

"Well, Miss, I just wanted to say that you looked positively radiant this evening," the blond grinned.

Sasuke shot him a death glare, "Say one more word, and I promise you'll regret it."

"Understood, ma'am," Naruto nodded with over-acted seriousness.

Sasuke only sighed, "Where is your costume?"

"I'm wearing it!" Naruto declared proudly.

The blond then set his bag down and removed his shirt to reveal unblemished, tan skin and a chest to rival Kiba's. He pulled a cord on the kilt he was wearing and it dropped several more lengths of fabric, which flowed around his legs to become... what looked to be a fish's tail. Still grinning mischievously, Naruto reached into his bag and pulled out a gold crown, made out of fool's gold, and a small golden trident. Placing the crown on his head, he then turned and posed for Sasuke.

"Admittedly I don't have my own costume designers, so I had to get my roommate to help me," Naruto grinned sheepishly, "Sakura's pretty good with a sewing machine… but it was all kind of last minute…"

Sasuke was undeniably shocked, "You're…"

"Young King Triton, yeah," Naruto blushed; only now realizing that everyone around them was staring. He rubbed the back of his neck, which he did any time he was uncomfortable.

"You look good," Sasuke muttered offhandedly, looking to the floor or anywhere that wouldn't have him drooling over Naruto.

"Thanks," the blond blushed even brighter.

"How did you know?" Sasuke asked breathlessly, pulling Naruto out onto the dance floor, where they would be somewhat hidden by the dancing masses… another thing not thought through. The moment the pair entered the dance floor, they were given a wide-berth because of Sasuke's moving tentacles.

"Heh…" Naruto chuckled, "You aren't the only one who knows drag queens… and they have big mouths."

"That they do," Sasuke shot a glare towards Neji and Kiba, who were watching from the bar area.

"So I threw this on… figured we might as well be uncomfortable together."

"Who says I'm uncomfortable, Uzumaki?" Sasuke's vein popping on his forehead was an obvious indicator, but Naruto let it slide.

"I know how much you enjoy being a man," the blond placated, "So I thought I'd let your Ursula have King Triton… not only is that fairly manly, but it's a good twist, no?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said, looking away. Naruto could tell, even through the lilac paint, Sasuke was blushing. "Thank you… Naruto."

"Always, teme," the blond turned the raven's face to look at him, and there, on the dance floor, Naruto kissed _his_ Sasuke… not giving a damn that the world could see.

[…]

"Ugh… look at them," Neji said bitterly, turning so he didn't have to see the couple kissing as if in some completely clichéd, romantic comedy, "They have no respect or decency for the people around them."

"Well, look who's becoming a bitter, old queen," Kiba chuckled, "I never thought you to be a prude."

"I'm not!" Neji snapped… "It's just…"  
"Hard?" Kiba offered a knowing look.  
"What?"

"It's hard, sitting there night after night… watching the person you care about give their love to someone else."

Neji's eyes widened. "Wait… what are you talking about?" he sputtered

"You love the boss… it's kinda obvious," Kiba said, sliding the other man a drink.

Neji took the glass, not saying a word as he drank. Once the alcohol was drained, he slammed it to the bar and sighed, "Thanks. I needed that, and... you're right... I do. Is it _really _that obvious?"

"Not really," Kiba stated bluntly, "In fact I didn't figure it out until the boss started dating foxy…"

"That blond tramp is so beneath him!" Neji sneered, slightly buzzed from all the drinks throughout the night.

"Naruto's a good guy," Kiba defended, "And he mellows the boss out."

"Sasuke should be with me!" Neji snarled, glaring at Kiba, his silver eyes full of rage. "Fifteen years, Kiba! Fifteen, god-damned years... I've been that man's best friend. I've stood beside him, I've stopped suicides and overdoses… when he started this club and got his life right, I was the one who drew in the crowds! I watched him become successful, I counted his money, I kept his books… I watched him enjoy a new _adventure _ever night… and for what?"

Neji turned to glare at the blond, "For him to start dating a sun-tanned, bleach-haired dimwit…? for him to go home after closing every night, order the same drink day after day, to watch the two of them talk less and less as they settle down and become bored? That little moron is killing him… he'll slowly drain the Sasuke out of him until there's nothing left… he'll be a different person, and I'll be alone."

Kiba looked at the dejected man with kind eyes, "Or… he's found someone to be happy with, and he doesn't need to go looking for excitement every night. He orders the same drink because it's what he likes, and they talk less and less… because sometimes, when you're near the right person, it's enjoyable to not have to speak all the time, to just sit there and hear the world around you—the heartbeat of someone you care about, beating in time with yours."

"Well, _Kiba_…" Neji breathed, "I never knew you to be a romantic."  
"I'm a bartender," he laughed, a sound similar to a bark, "Romance knowledge comes with the job application."  
Neji smiled faintly, "So… I'm doomed to be alone."

"Not necessarily…"

"No, I am," Neji's voice cracked, looking at Kiba with despair, "I'm a washed-up, broken-down, old queen… if I can't get the man I've loved for fifteen years… there's no chance of finding—"

He was cut off as Kiba's hand reached under his chin and the bartender's lips closed over his. Neji's eyes widened with shock, only to last for a moment as the warmth of the kiss flowed pleasurably through every nerve in his body. The Hyūga relaxed, his entire body feeling less tense, and he gingerly reached a hand up to brush Kiba's face. In that tentative contact, Neji jumped back to his senses and jerked away from the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Kiba looked concerned, "Did I do something wrong?"

"You're straight!" Neji hissed, "I don't need a pity kiss from the _straight _bartender! I'm not one of those pathetic straight chasers!"

Kiba started chuckling, turning away from Neji to hide his laughter.

"What? What part of this is funny?" Neji narrowed his eyes, "Was that the point? Kiss the queen just for some shit-eating grins and a good laugh?"

"No! No!" Kiba choked out, barely able to breathe from his laughter at this point. It took him several moments to compose himself, thankfully helped out by Neji's icy stare. "Look," Kiba said finally getting serious, "I'm not straight…"

"But, you've said for years…"

"It gets good tips," Kiba shrugged, "Gay men like to turn the straight guy. I get more of them talking and tipping if they think they don't have a shot. Plus, I don't date people I work with, so it didn't seem like a bad idea."

"Well, that's nice to know!" Neji snapped, turning on his seat to leave, but Kiba's hand caught him.

"Stay!" Kiba ordered, freezing Neji obediently in place. "Please stay?" he asked, desperation in his eyes.

Not trusting himself to speak, Neji nodded.

"Look, I know how you feel, what you're going through…" Kiba said, his voice becoming very serious, "Watching night after night, longing for someone you can't have, because every night I serve you drinks, I watch you perform, and I see you give _that_ look to someone who doesn't care about you… not the way I do."

"What are you…" Neji asked, his hand coming up to touch his lips, still feeling that aftermath, tingling sensation tease across the flesh.

"I'm saying… that I am in love with you, Neji Hyūga," Kiba said, fixing the man with a hard stare. His deep, almond colored eyes were filled with so much conviction and passion, that Neji found he couldn't breathe.

"Your bitchy, stuck up nature, your drag act, your crappy DJ music…" Kiba continued, "I love it all. I've sat here, pretending to be a straight man in a gay club and turning down every guy that hits on me… because I'm in love with you. I know what makes you laugh, I know which smile is the real one, and not that imperious '_I'm better than you_' smirk, I know what drink fits your mood…"

"Enough!" Neji gasped out, no longer able to look at Kiba, "I... don't know what to say…"

"Say you didn't feel anything five minutes ago, and we can both move on…" Kiba murmured.

"I can't…" Neji whispered, shaking his head.

Kiba looked mortified, but, swallowing his pride, he nodded. He slapped on that stupid fake grin of his and went immediately back into bartender mode, "Forget I said anything… I was just—"

"I can't say that," Neji continued, cutting the man off, "Because I _did_ feel something." He looked at Kiba with anger, confusion, hurt, and longing all swimming in his pale eyes, "I shouldn't have felt something… but I did. How can I say that I love Sasuke... if I want to kiss you again?"

Kiba smiled, almost a smirk, but he too happy to make it all the way there, "I think… that you've been falling out of love with the boss for several years now, because... I've slowly been making you fall in love—with me."

Neji looked horrified at the mere suggestion, but Kiba did smirk this time, shortly after that he grabbed the Hyūga's face and kissed him again, much more passionately than the chaste kiss before. This one was fueled by years of unrequited desire, years of loneliness, and compounded by the need for understanding. Whether or not the two of them comprehended, they were connecting on a level that surpasses the mere idea of love… it reached a realm of soul mates—two people fated for one another, that no matter how long or hard they search, eventually they find one another… and life begins a dance of passion and heated desire, where neither partner needs think, or feel, or wonder… because their entire existence has led up to this moment.

Of course such things are far away, and at that moment neither of them were thinking much at all… because in that second, with that impassioned kiss, they both realized that something was indeed starting, but the fire that threatened to take over their minds and bodies kept very little thought from breaking in.

Neji was to the point of complete surrender, not capable of forming two words together—much less a complex thought, while Kiba wanted nothing more than to throw the gorgeous Hyūga atop the bar and ravish him. Thankfully for the two them, Kiba managed to gain some level of composure, forced in-part by a need for oxygen.

"Wow!" the bartender breathed as he slowly pulled away.

"Wow…" Neji agreed his voice barely a whisper. His fingers ghosted over his lips once more, as if trying to trap the feelings Kiba had incited within his blood, not quite ready to return to normality. For the first time in memory, the both of them were lost for words.

[…]

"So… the bartender and the drag queen?" Sasuke mused, watching the pair from the dance floor, his head resting lightly on Naruto's shoulder as the slow dance continued, "Who would have thought?"

"I totally called it," Naruto chuckled, "You could tell by the way they fought."

"Not all of us are as observant as you," Sasuke rolled his eyes, but the blond couldn't see.

"It's just as well, I wouldn't have looked forward to the fight over you if they hadn't gotten together," Naruto said thoughtfully.  
"You're referring to Neji?"  
"Yeah, I could have sworn he was looking at you like you were candy when you walked out on the stage," Naruto laughed, "But then again, who wasn't?"

"Neji and I will always be friends," Sasuke said quietly, "I owe him for everything… but… we'll never be more than friends."

"I know," Naruto smiled in contentment, "The two of you together would have been—"  
"Chaotic," Sasuke finished.  
"Yep," Naruto nodded, "Besides, you two are _way_ too similar…"  
"Agreed."

"But… I have to admit," Naruto said with a hint of lust in his voice, "Neji managed to make one woman that I can be attracted to. You look really good like that…"

"Don't get your hopes up, idiot," Sasuke huffed, "This is coming off as soon as we get home."  
"I was kind of planning on that," Naruto leered lustfully.  
"I don't wear women's clothing… I like _manly_ things," Sasuke protested, "This was a once in a lifetime thing."  
"Of course," Naruto agreed.  
"I like things that show off that I'm a man!" Sasuke continued.

"Really?"

"Yes!" Sasuke was getting perturbed that the blond didn't understand him. He pushed away and looked at Naruto, determined to set him straight, only to see the gleam of debauchery in the blond's eyes. "What?" Sasuke asked nervously.

"Oh, nothing," Naruto grinned, "You're just going to _love_ what I got you for Christmas!"

* * *

_**~A/N~**_

_**A few things:**_

1) In the gay community, Drag Shows are a very big things and there are a great deal of rules about BEING a drag queen (and not a hot mess) and even more rules when it comes to performing. I won't go into them, but I tried to pass on a little knowledge with this fic, as well as some fluff! ;)

2) If you really want to learn about drag queens, the movie _To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Numar_ is a must see. That is also where Sasuke's reference comes from later.

3) Drag queen names are very difficult to come up with for Normal people... so for Naruto Characters... not a simple task. There are three mainstay ways: Play on words like Lipsinka or Miss Understood; the elegant such as Chi Chi LaRue (whom I have met in person); and the simple which is normally a feminine form of the male name, and a last name that has specific meaning to the person. I just used the third way and kept their last names for simplicity's sake—no special meanings to the drag names, sorry! :(

4) The song that Neji performs is called "Waiting" from the musical _The Addams Family_, which is currently on Broadway. You can listen to it performed on YouTube, which I recommend.

_**As always, I answer any and all questions... so...**_

_**Review, please?**_


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